no immunity

Once again it has been quite some time since I have written...maybe it is because I went through a phase where I didn't like what I did on a day-to-day basis...or I was plain just too tired and busy...or that I was incredibly sick and didn't know it...or that I really could have cared-less about updating the rest of the world on my life.  Probably the last is the closest to the real reason although they are all contributing factors...and after reading my roommates phenomenal work of art that she calls her blog....I will give it a shot...

After months and months of hard work I expected to see change.  I came here to change the world...or no...change myself...or both.  Whatever the reason...where was the change besides my lack of idealism that is constantly shoved down our throats each and everyday.  While I quickly bought into the idea of idealism and would bounce around and scream and dance for the middle school students that were only ashamed to know me.  This got old...but not quickly...I still had a fire inside of me.  My teammates complained...I tried to always point out the positives...smiled and went back to the drawing board.

Soon enough break came and went...consisting of lots of running around...no rest...and although I was anxious to get back, I was soon disappointed that I wasted break missing DC...my friends...my students...my team....and so forth.  For what?  To find out that all the hard work I was putting forth had been lost.  Winter break was the worst thing that happened to my students...they all came back having forgot everything from basic math to common respect.  I felt quickly defeated.

Now I know I have spent my life on the wait-list and have to go above and beyond to get where I want to go...but I am also used to working my ass off to succeed and finding the results that quickly follow.  This was not happening...so I questioned.  I had spent an enormous amount of hours at Hart Middle School, training, and commuting for a job that I didn't excel in.  So why am I here I asked....

Martin Luther King day had arrived - City Year's largest day of the year - and quite frankly I could have cared less.  No I don't want to lead volunteers, paint, and put on a cheery face.  I really would rather crawl back into bed and shut off reality.  But of course, like any good CY robot I proceeded throughout the day to find a new great friend on my project and also gave me some artistic skill :)

Anyways....after enormous back pain that made me feel like I was 80 and want prescription pain killers didn't subside after stretching I saw a Physical Therapist - my least favorite thing because he acted like I was an idiot and told me to "lift with my legs" (I'm not dumb, genius!)  Then I got a massage...maybe this will help....NOPE!

Ok, well the sore throat that I have had (usually just shows that I'm run down - typical in CY) wasn't going away with rest.  So I went to Urgent Care...YES a Z-pack...I'll be better in no time...JUST KIDDING!  So after no relief from a Z-pack, which usually cures me in a days time...I returned to Urgent Care with an achy body and terrible case of the "I'm still sick and feel sorry for myself." - Ultimate diagnosis - Mono Hepatitis - yes lovely...the mono has attacked my liver (the reason for my back hurting so badly) and the lymph nodes on the back of my neck are as swollen as golf balls...lovely.  After trying to work through this terrible virus where there is no cure but rest...I was unable to get better...well DUH I work 50+ hour weeks.

That's it...my health needs to come first or I'll be stuck like this forever and now it's starting to get depressing...so I hightailed it for Cali where my mom could wait on me and my puppies would be available for daytime cuddling.  Finally the break I needed...while I soon got sick of laying around and not being allowed to do anything...I will say it was nice to sit on my couch and lay by my pool spending quality time with my mom.  After 2 weeks...not only am I now back in DC on a strict regimen on how to ease back into work taking horse-pill vitamins....I have a more clear mind and many more smiles in my day once again.

And I lived happily ever after...well at least we hope that's the case for now...no relapsing...keep your fingers crossed for me!